Valentine's Day is coming up and I already want to smash my head through a brick wall.

It's no different to any other year.

Oh, and they've got a special menu that's packed full of aphrodisiacs.

But that's only for the couples. Or if someone's asked you.

And if your situationship hasn't, best believe we'll be sending you a DAILY reminder on your feed.

So then how about a deeply patronising deal on overpriced skincare?

Because, let's be honest, being single is SO TAXING, amirite ladies?

"No date, no problem! Here's a scented candle!"

Errr. Sure. Save your pity promo. I'm good.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not having a love sucks, let's cancel Valentine's rant. It doesn't. And I'm not.

But the way we commercialise Valentine's Day is freaking insufferable.

However, since I am not in charge of society (tragic oversight), and neither are you, we must face reality. February 14th isn't going anywhere.

And if you're a marketer, you probably do have to acknowledge it. So, let's talk about how to do that without making people want to throw their phones into the ocean.

"ONLY FOUR DAYS LEFT TO PROVE YOU CARE!!!"

"Forget flowers-if you really love them, you'll get them this diamond-encrusted skincare fridge."

"Nothing says love like a $100 blow wave service."

We need to retire the desperate, needy, guilt-trip marketing. It's giving me the ICK, big time.

Love isn't measured in dollars spent. WE KNOW THIS. And no one wants to feel like they're a bad partner if they don't buy into the capitalist circus.

So, instead of screaming at people to spend money, try speaking to them like normal human beings who might want to mark the occasion in a low-key, thoughtful way.

One of the biggest crimes of Valentine's Day marketing?

Acting like everyone is living in a Nora Ephron movie.

Not all love looks like a bouquet of red roses and a surprise weekend in Paris. Some people are single. Some people are happily single.

Some people are in situationships they're currently ignoring until after February 14th.

Some of us are delulu and live like Carrie Bradshaw (and Big is not playing ball right now.)

If you're going to market Valentine's Day, widen the lens. Talk about friendship. Talk about weird, niche love languages. Talk about the fact that celebrating love doesn't have to mean spending a pay cheque on heart-shaped items.

There is a massive demographic of black cats who find Valentine's Day irritating af.

Why are brands not speaking to them?

Lean into the chaos. Playfully roast the holiday. Offer a "We're-Not-Doing-Valentine's" discount.

Start a campaign that turns the whole thing on its head. When every brand is trying to be sweet and sentimental, being the one that calls out the absurdity of it all could actually make you stand out.

If you're going to acknowledge Valentine's Day, offer something valuable.

A guide to writing a heartfelt note (because let's be honest, most people are bad at it). A fun, interactive quiz. A discount that isn't just a ploy to upsell something ridiculous.

Make your marketing something people actually want, rather than another hollow reminder that the holiday exists.

But since that's not happening anytime soon, we might as well market it in a way that doesn't make people want to roll their eyes into another dimension.

Drop the cringe, embrace authenticity, and-above all-resist the urge to use heart emojis in your email subject lines.