The era of algorithmic rizz

If you thought dating was already a soul-crushing exercise in mindlessly swiping through a catalogue of literal human beings like its normal, I have some news that might make you want to throw your phone into the nearest bottomless void.

I’m no longer in the trenches (single). But I do vividly remember my first time using The Apps about 2 years ago, and swiftly deleting them almost as fast as one could type “you up?”

So, when I learned this week users often find themselves questioning whether the person they’re talking to is using AI to formulate their responses and flirt, I almost fell out my damn seat. Hell, does in fact, get hotter. And right now, baby it's SCORCHING.

We’ve reached the age of AI assisted dating. And I’m sick.

We (not me, but y’all) are now competing with large language models trained to be more charming than we are at 9:00 PM on a Tuesday. I weep for the future of romance.

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In marketing, we talk about optimising every touchpoint.

Nowadays, that logic has fully colonised our romantic lives. Roughly 26% of adults and nearly half of Gen Z are now using AI to enhance their dating presence.

AI has infiltrated every layer of the digital dating stack:

• The AI wingman: apps like YourMove.ai or WingAI allow users to upload screenshots of a conversation so a bot can spit out "witty" replies.
• The profile architect: Hinge has even tested prompt feedback, where AI critiques your answers to make you more marketable.
• The deepfake date: we’re moving past filters into structural AI alterations. We’re literally A/B testing our faces to see which version gets the highest click-through rate.

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The cultural glitch (or, the dead internet theory but make it dating edition)

The danger here isn't just that someone is cheating at flirting. It’s the marketing mismatch. When you outsource your personality to a bot, you’re creating a false advertising loop. You match with a witty, soulful poet online, only to meet a person who has the conversational range of a teaspoon.

Culturally, we are reaching a bottleneck of authenticity. As Bumble's founder recently suggested, we may soon see AI concierges dating on our behalf, chatting with thousands of other bots to shortlist compatible matches before we even say hello. It sounds like a Black Mirror episode. But it’s actually just the logical conclusion of treating human connection like a LinkedIn recruitment pipeline.

Which, also sounds like a Black Mirror episode.

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How to mitigate the tech creep

If you want to keep your sanity, we need to start vibe checking the machines. Since AI is trained on the average of human data, it is inherently generic AF.

To find the real person, you have to lean into the things a bot can't fake:

1. The hyper-specific pivot: AI is great at clever but bad at weird. Ask about something highly specific: "What’s the most cursed thing you saw on the Tube today?" or "What does your childhood home smell like?" AI struggles with sensory, localised human experiences.
2. Move to audio early: The glitch in the matrix usually reveals itself when you move away from text. Use voice notes or a quick FaceTime. You can’t use a chatbot to simulate real-time vocal chemistry.
3. The anti-marketing bio: Authenticity is becoming a luxury good. Instead of a polished, AI-curated bio, list your most useless talent or a wildly unpopular opinion. Rough edges are the only proof of life we have left.

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Dating is supposed to be the last bastion of human messiness.

If we treat it like a conversion funnel to be optimised, we shouldn’t be surprised when the result feels like a cold transaction. AI might get you the first date, but it can't help you with the second.

Let’s make dating weird again.

-Sophie Randell, Writer

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