The Harsh REALITY Of Being A Female Athlete.

welcome to the podcast yeah yeah no not my pleasure um why don't you quickly give an introduction to everyone who you are and where you come from um so my name is Maya Vance I was born in Sweden which is why my name's felt a bit weird and came here when I was five and um I'm 31 years old now I uh dropped out of school and started my apprenticeship um to be a jockey and rode for 13 years and then um had a fall that became a bit Infamous um yeah um I can't post it you can look it up though but um yeah and I broke my back in seven places with quite a few other injuries and I was paralyzed from the

waist down and um given not a lot of chance of that I would probably ever walk again I've just been super super lucky and been able to um yeah just keep putting one foot in front of the other yeah it's amazing that's amazing and like you know as you said people can look up the story but what I'd like to touch on is like um how your like social media prisons and just like I guess your personal brand has evolved from like oh well actually was there anything prior to the full um because I don't actually know I haven't even looked past that history of yours and how did it how has that influenced everything so far um yeah so I wasn't really posting I

didn't even have Tick Tock or anything like that before my accident and then had my accident started walking um and quite a few kind of news people and stuff like caught on to the story and covered it and then my housemate actually moved in and she was 18 when she moved in and she had Tick Tock and she was like ah she's like I reckon you should um you should get Tick Tock and I was like nah nah nah and then my mum was like I reckon you should get Tick Tock apparently it's like you know like it's getting really big and I reckon you'd be really good at it and I was like nah and then I got it and then as you do

you get Tick Tock and you get addicted to it and then just started posting like little Snippets of my story and just like really people just really resonated with it and um yeah just people were just really inspired by it which I you know I'm flattered that people can find inspiration on that so just keep doing that yeah that's cool and so so it really was um like born out of that time was it and there was a lot of the initial stories at the beginning um yeah well I started probably six months after so I had I had come out of the hospital um there would have probably been some good videos if I'd if I was doing it in hospital but um yeah

so about six months after and then um my horse who I had got him just before my accident and then broken him in so just taught him how to be written from like being a little baby horse and um so then people started to kind of follow like that story a line of me and my horse that you know my little Bush Pony that I bought for two thousand dollars has turned out to just be like amazing and just um you know helps that he's he's pretty and and then I bought his brother and then that kind of became a bit of a storyline as well because he's a bit of a Mischief maker yeah yeah yeah yeah what are the names again uh panda

is the the older one the kind of hero in the story and then um the other one Slim Shady yeah that's right yeah um so tell me like when you started posting like what when was it that it started to go off was it pretty early days that it started like what do you remember the moment yeah even kind of from the first few videos like the first few videos I posted there weren't any I wasn't very good at editing anything like that but I think people just find um you know like inspiration and that and you know work that into their own lives and you know I'm just I'm so flattered and happy that like people can do that yeah how was that when

it first started yeah how did you respond uh I mean one thing that I had to kind of get used to is that when you're putting yourself out there on the internet not everyone's gonna like you and I have a pretty like unsalted personality I would say so um you know there's always going to be people that especially with horses because with horses everyone has their own way of training a horse and so whatever you're doing is wrong by you know like there's always going to be one out of ten people who thinks that what you're doing is wrong and obviously my horses are like super well taken care of it I just I think it that's one thing about the kind of equestrian community

that um it's kind of challenging is there's always a yeah everyone has a better way of doing what you are doing and they feel the need to let you know about it yeah yeah that's so funny I I didn't know that was a thing until um there's a post-tricking company here in Auckland yeah and they I we were talking to them about potentially helping them with some of their Tick Tock and they were saying the same thing that every time they put stuff out about how they do like look after their horses or whatever because they have a bit of like a horse Hospital yeah um people would give them [ __ ] about it yeah they'd be like look like do whatever you want we all

do it our own way we yeah and the thing is that they were saying everyone knows we all do it our own way yeah yeah we all still yeah well like um a horse bit which is like you know the bits that go in their mouth there's probably there's probably 500 different versions of bits and you know 90 of them are all like nice nice in the horse's mouth and they work well but like everyone has to have a better bit than or a different way of you know and so even people will attack you for that and it's just something I think you kind of have to just think of it that like you know even my Idols so like you know I think

Eminem is like that's why I named my whole Slim Shady Eminem it's just the most legendary person that ever walked this Earth and people hate him like and it blows my mind that people can hate someone that is just so legendary and so you know I think you just kind of have to it just comes with a territory it just comes with it so was that quite hard at the beginning or did you get over there pretty fast and I quite enjoy it yeah okay yeah yeah you're sick like I am okay cool I know we're listening is going um okay got it um yeah and I like the Eminem analogy too because I I always use that um what these guys about like um

the B rabbit um verse on eight miles oh yeah you put it all out there and they'll get picture if you say it to them first yeah exactly I love that right though like lit just so legendary and it's like what are you gonna say now your turn yeah we do that all the time I try to do that all the time like if you just and like that's why I like my Vlogs and everything I do and like pretty unfiltered and just say everything anyway because you can't come and hate me later on without saying because I'm like yeah I I told everyone about this like what are you talking about oh I'll post a writing video on someone like criticizes my ride I

write better and it's like no [ __ ] you're right better than me I'm paralyzed you'd be doing bad if you weren't better than me that's funny so when did it turn into what it's turned into like this because like you know when it builds up and it starts like it comes sometimes it's gonna be a flash in a pan and sort of thing so like yeah when did you double down and go now I'm gonna make this a thing like was it real early on no I don't know it's just kind of even now it's just just a thing it's just a hobby and like people like him I've kind of I feel like I've created like some story lines through my life you know like

with you know even if you look at my videos all the ones with Pandora like inspirational videos and writing and stuff and then um there's a lot of just like humor some things that maybe only horse people get a lot of people like a lot of things that like you know even normal people like understand so there's kind of like I have quite dark humor as well which is like people maybe don't like me for that but I I just I said you can never be successful being not yourself I think you have to be yourself to be successful and I wouldn't want to be successful if I wasn't being myself anyway so yeah I've just kind of created like these storylines and people kind

of catch on and like it and yeah how did you know about the storyline thing like how did you know to do that it it kind of just became a thing like I was posting all the videos I posted with panda like the old horse all the comment everyone's like oh so inspirational and like you know but then the ones with Slim Shady they're just humorous and funny and then I kind of just built on those and then yeah yeah so it just it just by Heaven starts it just happened yeah it didn't really plan for it no I'm but you know now right because the way you've spoken about you've spoken it that way since you started speaking Yeah think of it that way

now yeah I do but my horses make it very easy because one is very very a very beautiful lovely lovely soft sweet kind horse and the others just ruins my life drains all my money ruins my life yeah but it's funny so yeah you know what can you do I love it um and so as it grew out and you got more and more popularity because like you know like you're one of the larger creators in New Zealand in terms of follow account anyway um when it was sort of crossed the threshold did things sort of start to change for you personally like you know were you getting more attention from media were you getting more attention from people you know like what was happening

in your life at that stage like a little bit like at the supermarket people um like sometimes people used to be like oh you might advance but now they're just like oh you're Slim Shady's mum that's all I get your slim shadies mum like yeah funny that's me um but I have um I do a little bit of work with um a few like equestrian Brands now um so that's cool because that's like you know getting products and stuff and that's like creating even more content and I'll um like the salary Warehouse in Cambridge I'd take my horses there and like yeah absolutely let them loosen the shop see what happens yeah that's funny yeah so tell me then with your brand like what do

you do with it now like what is it useful for you um oh like I do a little bit of content for other brands um I'm just I'm just happy that people like it and even you know and sometimes I'll post just a funny video and someone be like oh your videos just make my day and it's just like it's nice that like you know sometimes we had a [ __ ] day and like you just watch a video and you laugh and you actually just find it really funny and you're like made me so happy oh that's so cute like I don't think my videos are that funny but it's nice that like other people think that yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah um and with the

brand stuff like do you are they all like is that um like side hustle stuff for you or is it a big part of like what are you doing it's it's kind of becoming like a bigger part yeah there's like more opportunities kind of arising and uh there's going to be there's a big show called horse of the year which is on every year which is like everyone kind of in horses that rides um Works towards that it's like the one year kind of thing and it's been canceled the last two years because of covert and we were going to have it this year and um it was going to be one of the like ambassadors like content creators for um that like me and

Panda and um we're like we're finally going to have it no covert and then um that hurricane hit Hawks Bay because it's in Hawke's Bay the hurricane hit Hawkes Bay two weeks before so that just blew everything out but like just things like that it's just building and yeah yeah it's fun and what else do you do oh I just run around after my horses all day um I volunteer at um there's a animal um animal new life's animal rescue in Cambridge so I do um quite a bit of work with them as well yeah yeah so because you don't still compete no uh yeah oh you do oh so I don't race anymore well um so our My legs will never be strong enough

for me to race again but I went back riding track work which is like the racehorses and training um and like I'll still like Gallop them up and stuff like that which is like fun which is you know as fast as you go on a race pretty much but you're not like technically a jockey but I compete the the older horse I compete in show jumping oh okay yes but you know like I was a jockey for 13 years and I do show jumping because I can't do that so like when people if people ever say anything I'm like this wasn't my first choice like that's my second option yeah what do you want me to do yeah yes but I mean like what are

you gonna do sit at home and like not do anything just because you can't do it as good as someone else yeah yeah I love that yeah and so um when you say it's becoming more of a bigger thing like is that for you from an income perspective like where it comes from or um well you've got other things on there yeah I have like I've got like a few I a business that I um sold not long ago as well so like um yeah I was never like super super smart in school but I feel like I'm kind of a little bit creative and that's kind of I guess got me a little bit yeah yeah so you've done a ride from some businesses

and stuff yeah yeah yeah and I was just lucky that um like I dropped out of school and I was uh 16 to do my apprenticeship and lucky that I did that because I ended up buying my house like the day I turned to 18 I kind of put my that's great bought the house which is yeah which is now kind of quadrupled and stuff so like I'm I've been lucky the way things have turned out for me I guess yeah yeah but like I have worked I have worked very hard yeah of course I do think that yeah especially with like being able to walk and stuff like I think I got a bit lucky there yeah some determination too yeah the sounds of

it with your life story so far um what do you what do you see this turning into like what are your plans like what did you what would you hope this could turn into um I I've never been one for like a real like planning kind of person I just I put as much effort as I can into it and hope that it goes somewhere but I yeah I think sometimes when you try and plan things and they don't quite work out but yeah I don't really know like I'm still just amazed at like that many people even like me like I've grown up my whole life with like I don't know feeling like people just didn't really like me I'm a little bit weird

and like even my friends like didn't really like me that much so the fact that more than like three people even like me is like a shock to me really yeah that's interesting why do you feel that way um ah so I have a sensory processing disorder which I only got diagnosed when I was like 30 so like a year ago yeah so um growing up when I was a kid like I know all my friends said like go to the mall and we're all like trendy clothes and like all the stuff and I like I would never I I that wasn't me I just would wear my like big baggy like Eminem t-shirt and like basketball shorts and like then no one wanted to

hang out with me well I mean you know that obviously we're very good friends but like I just was weird I was a weird kid and um yeah I guess I was like a whole horse girl as what else I was like a horse girl and then like you know my friends were like you know going to the mall and like wearing cute like dresses and stuff and I was just like a little bit of a tomboy and I know no one really liked me very much that's hilarious but like not hilarious being on your friends but like hilarious that you think that way oh yeah well that's the only child as well so like it's pretty like yeah I was like oh these horses

are cool they don't think I'm weird like so I guess instead of writing the resources when I was like pretty young and then um yeah my whole life kind of just revolved around like horses and you know I got my first Pony um when I was like 12 or something but I had to only because the racehorses kept bolting on me mum and dad wouldn't buy me a pony but so I was only allowed to ride the racehorses but then they took off on me quite a few times and they're like oh she's gonna probably end up dead so like we better buy her a little pony yeah it is funny though like all the people who I know uh horse people yeah like if

you're a horse person you're a hospital yeah you know like there's no coming back from there all my mates who had horses growing up because you know unless we found out earlier went to the same high school and you know like guys who lived in karako or anything like that like they all had horses yeah and if they had horses that's what they did yeah every day yeah every weekend yeah you never saw them they never came to parties they never did stuff and so I think that's quite a normal thing for most people I remember we were doing like cross-country one time at school and there was a cute boy that I liked in my class and he was like running ahead of me

and in my head I was like I'll go past him but I'll can't pass them so I can't Advance him like a horse I was like yeah they don't that'll make him like me yeah so like if you're wondering why people don't like me that's probably what I was like that's how I impress him yeah yeah hanging out the horses too much oh I love the way that my horse came to us so impressive I love that but like now like with the people like how does that make you feel when you do because your com I've read your comments because before we ask them to work on that project no no like this there's you you're right like you've got heaps of people who

are proper fans yeah like and love your shirt like they love it so how does that change your perspective because it doesn't sound like it's changed it a whole lot but there's like literally 850 000 people who love it yeah I know it's something like I'll look at like a stadium and I'm like it's like eight of them and they're like all those people like I mean I'd like to sing the majority of them like tolerate me to or like like me but like I feel like some people don't like me and they'll follow me just to like just to see what I'm doing yeah but I also think that like when you're at this level there's um probably a million people who like your

stuff but just don't follow as well he's a people don't follow yeah because you know that because then you'll get videos that do a million or whatever yeah you know you get them well over yeah it's the shitty videos that do the best too like there was just one of me washing my horse and it was just funny because I spent ages watching then I put him out and he rolled straight away and I was like that's not even funny and then I got 36 million views oh yes I've seen them why yeah yeah why that's it see it's stuff like that which like when those videos that blow up they like it shows you that there's more people actually like you just people yeah

some people are like Oh I thought I was following but I think because they if they interact it just keeps um showing you yeah all the um these actions are performed by professionals oh are you sure kind of gets a few of those though yeah he just gives them removed when he does his tricks I had I had too many rivers I actually I they banned my account oh sure a couple months ago um I had to me violations and they banned it but I got it back I think I think all my followers just wrote in and were like we're not happy about this yeah and then they gave it back to me it's like sweet yeah it's good that there is a um

they probably don't want me to say this out on camera but I don't give a [ __ ] keep this in um but there is at least a tick tock presence here now that you can contact yeah yeah so that's fine yeah they don't like it when I talk about it on camera um but um there's a burning to building to burn down if they Banner then yeah yeah exactly we know where they are yeah um I probably shouldn't say we're there I [ __ ] I need some trouble um so that's really interesting like that Dynamic like do you really feel that way is it just because your whole life that you felt that way and even now you think people still yeah you just think it's a

bit weird oh I am but weird yeah yeah but I think that that I think that's probably right because heaps of people feel like they're a bit weird yeah I mean you just go walk out their door yeah ask these [ __ ] creatives of my team yeah every single one of them thinks they're a bit weird yeah you know they're all like that yeah so I think that's probably why right they guarantee towards it yeah um so tell me then you you don't really plan anything but like um what is some of your driving motivation to keep the posting um I actually won't go I really want to go to the Paralympics but I show jumping which is like the jumping over poles um at the

moment they only have para equestrian for dressage which is so dressy I just like the the dancing and the circles yeah um yeah and it's like to be fair it is very hard it is a lot harder than it looks like to be yeah I think jumping is probably easy but um there's not a lot of there's not enough um para show Jumpers in New Zealand to even make like a competition let alone like a team but um they are going to the next Olympics um they are going to introduce show jumping into apparently yeah so um hopefully that kind of brings out like enough people to make a team but I would love to like love to be able to do that um yeah

so then the ones in um the next ones yeah so the next one's covered kind of messed up um yeah yeah so the Paris ones they won't have but I think the next one's of Brisbane yes La in 28 is the one I'm thinking oh okay all right oh yeah I'll be old by then I'm already out um oh that's cool yeah yeah I have to get a bit of horse though oh really probably yeah uh Panda he's cool but like uh I just like if I go I want to be super competitive yeah I want something that's like jumped twice as high and like one and like put them strap me on and go around yeah okay where it's like he's he's awesome but

he's he's pretty young so like you know he's still learning as well so yeah um the that would be pretty [ __ ] epic though yeah yeah especially from a brand perspective yeah make a little Tick Tock Journey out of it Well because most athletes if you go to Olympics become famous after them yeah and they don't actually like document their Journey like up up into it yeah yeah I mean more and more the man now because they understand the power of it yeah and especially now that the whatever the cool day you know limb or whatever um laws around image athletes in America I don't know like you know you got all the gymnasts and stuff oh yeah they're allowed to actually make money yeah like

what's the check who's real big on Tick Tock is it Olivia Olivia yeah yeah that's it so lovely Dan she's because she's immature yeah but she's allowed because of those new rulings she's allowed to make money yeah on certain things so now that that's a thing yeah it'll become more of a thing yeah and because she's hot yeah obviously yeah she's doing great um yeah no I said but there's more and more of them doing it yeah yeah but even like even I feel like everything I've kind of done in my life I've just done by myself yeah um the other day um when I bought my house and I had a boyfriend but he was um like off doing other things and um and

it was really sad because it was like moving day and um the realtor like came over on like moving day and bought a and brought over like a big plate of like pie outlets and he's like oh I like the congratulations about your first house we always bring like some pikelets over for like all the like movers and stuff and I literally was like oh thanks I was like oh yeah they've just gone down the road it was literally just me in the truck and there's oh where is everyone I was like oh they've just they've gone down to miter 10 to um pick up some boxes and they're like oh okay I'll leave these here and I was just like because there's no Furniture

Lift I was just sitting on the floor eating like it was like 58 pikelets on a plate and I was just like him I was like Well Done me sitting there by myself exactly I think it's that's really sad yeah it's pretty sad that's it might be the first one we need some tissues of the roof I love it but that's awesome that you managed to do that at such a young age what drove you to do that um well I just I love resources and I love racing and it during your apprenticeship like being a jockey is something you're better to do when you're younger because of the weight restrictions so I really really struggled with my weight but um I kind of just

got and I worked really hard but I got on a few winners and got on a bit of a row and was able to make that kind of amount of money in like my first year and after like and I was like oh this is probably the time I'm gonna make the most money in my life I might as well like put it down but even even then like I was like mum and dad I was like oh do you reckon I should buy a house oh it's big commitment so I was like okay so just went and found a house you know it's next to some horsepower who had some horse Paddock so I was like yeah um how much can you talk about

how the jockey because I most people won't even have a clue how that world Works um like how the winnings work and how you earn as a jockey yeah so um when you're a jockey you earn five percent of the steak money um but every race uh I think it's about 150 dollars now 150 per ride so you could have anywhere between like two three or like eight rides yeah um and then yeah obviously five percent of State money which is good when they're like million dollar races yeah five percent but if you win uh yes oh well um the placings go down to six sometimes eight nine ten so five percent of whatever that is but um okay yeah so whatever the first one

is five percent of a lot of the hospitals yeah that makes sense yeah so if you get you know it was lucky enough to get on some good horses when I was kind of younger and yeah yeah I mean I loved my job but I wanted to kill myself probably 80 of the time really yeah why um because uh I really really struggled with the weight like I gave myself like a raging eating disorder to stay um yeah so my first winner was uh the horse had 49.5 kilos so me and my year had to be 49 kilos which like as a 17 year old girl was like it's crazy yeah and then I just struggled my whole like the whole time I was a

jockey I just really really struggled um with like mental health um kind of fueled by like their eating disorder because you know most people go to work and they work and then when they finish they go home they're not at work anymore but I you're always you'll never ever noticed because you can't eat like not only do you have to get up every morning at four o'clock in the morning and ride ten horses and be strong and you know drive to the races five hours away but you have to you you know also lose three kilos on the way so be driving with like all my sweet gear right like a little couple killers on the way um and I guess when you're going good

it's like on a you're on a high and then when um you're not going good it's like a real Spike it's just a real up and down Spike which is bad for your mental health and then you get a lot of injuries um so when you're out injured you you have nothing to do and you know you just have to wait which is but you have to also keep your weight down so you can't even let yourself get heavy but like you can't exercise because you've got a broken leg um so yeah when when I have my accent everyone was like you know like are you going to be in a wheelchair fluency I feel like oh that's terrible I'm like yeah but I can

eat temtemps No One's Gonna yell at me because it's not even the fact that what I couldn't eat it's I would go to the track every morning and every single day I'd get comments from just trainers who think it's funny like oh what way do you get a ride today oh you better not eat that or don't eat that you'll get fat or like oh or come back from Jay like oh you're looking a bit fat like but it's just normal for them to say that and could you imagine and like you know any other job would you walk up to a lady and go oh you're looking a bit fat today but it's just normal and yeah you know like I'm not going to

kill myself because someone said that but it's just every little thing just like builds up and builds up and then it's the stress like the stress that you have to be that way and if you're not you go to the races and you get fined like you get a thousand dollar fine if you don't make weight um you get taken off that horse you don't get to ride that horse those owners and then anger at you that they've taken the horse to races and they've had to get another Rider and so it's the pressure and the stress as well um so yeah that's crazy yeah yeah and I I was also in like a pretty bad relationship at the same at the same time um

so like there was just so many things that were just really really hard to deal with all at the same time so um when I had my accident um I was actually like trying to get hurt I was like yeah I would love to just get her and not have to have all yeah because you can't just be like oh hey everyone in the industry I'm just not gonna ride because I can't deal with it anymore um I'm just going to take a break because then they're like oh why oh you'll wait oh when are you back when are you back and it just like eats it yeah what year was the um 2018 was my fall you know what I'm thinking it's like I'm

gonna ask my dad this question so you know my dad right my dad's like typical kiwi Blake yeah he's like massive into horse racing yeah as they all are he's never been good at it but his thing is that he punts on the he always begs jockeys he doesn't care about horses like yeah he's like a good jockey can take a bad horse to think that's a that's a thought that's just his thought I'm not saying he's right here he hasn't he's not wealthy because of it not doing well but I see you talking I'm just I just remember thinking that like that's where I've seen your name before in his little black book oh yeah he's like my dad's like the guy who goes

to the pub yeah and everyone's like Lister yeah give us your black book yeah yeah um his system actually works quite well like the way he does it because like I whenever I followed his little tips and stuff like you do but the thing is you get gamblers are bad because gamblers go oh I made some wins I'm good at this I'm gonna do other stuff and then you go outside the system and then you're [ __ ] stupid at least is that why he's poor because he backed me wow if it's there I just remember the name thinking I remember when I first saw your name thinking I've seen like I I felt real familiar to it yeah and then I saw the news articles and

stuff and I thought oh maybe it's that but I didn't live in New Zealand then oh okay I was in Australia for five years yeah maybe it was yeah anyway yeah I'm going up topic here after my dad if that was then I have to go check all the emails um but what I was going to say I went off topic because and completely changed the subject there but you when it all happened like that time that period of life like how did you push through like like it seems [ __ ] insurmountable for him I didn't do it well yeah I mean you made it through well just yeah right not yeah not yeah um ah yeah I don't know it was just it it was

rough and like you know when everyone was like oh the excellent stuff I was like this is easy yeah this is easy I know what comes I was like I think I can do it and I think it'll be easy and how has it been since like since the accident back like how's life how's it compare um I was um so my dad's best friend was in a wheelchair from actually he felt the exact same spot that I fell on a racetrack and he was paralyzed and he was completely oh he um he was quadriplegic so it was completely paralyzed and my dad's like very very best friend he was joking he had lots of friends and when that happened none of his friends ever

came around and saw him and Dad wasn't even really that good friends with them when he was riding but after that he would go there every single day and like just watch races and stuff with them so he became like a family friend and um yeah I just remember thinking like oh I'm I'm gonna be like him but my dad um all the time growing up was if I didn't want to you know do something he'd be like Tony would like Tony would love to like I remember one time he was like go brush your teeth and I was like oh no and he's like Tony would kill to get up and walk to the bathroom like it was always just like but don't you

know and now I like and now I understand it but I don't think you can quite grasp how lucky you are yeah I don't know if you can quite grasp until it's actually taken away and then but like to have it taken away and then get it back is like such a blessing because you you know what it was like like you lived in a wheelchair and it's like being in a wheelchair you know someone might break their leg and they're in a wheelchair because they can't use their leg for you know six weeks or something but it's it's it's not you know even then you can you can like get up out of your chair and move to others yeah yeah exactly you know

this in day and you know you can still feel everything but to be actually completely paralyzed is just it just like it's crazy like you can't even get from your chat like it would take me two hours to get dressed and into my chair every single morning like to get showered like get in a shower chair transfer into a shower chair I had a hoist as well that like hoists me up hoist me into the chair um like get oh just the whole routine would take two hours and now I literally just roll out of bed and like I'm like ready every day and I'm just like so happy that like yeah so everyone's like oh you got such a good attitude I don't know

if I would have as good an attitude if I was completely paralyzed though yeah yeah because when I was in the spinal unit I was like I was like the little star like everyone else that was there they were like in wheelchairs and they'd you know come up to it at dinner time be like oh I saw you like standing in the frame like well done and they were so happy for me and because everyone else was like you know like fully fully in a wheelchair and couldn't stand or anything and I was like I I hope that if I was in a wheelchair that like I would be that person but then another guy came in and he was better than me and I

was like I was like [ __ ] him I was like did he even break his back they're like yeah it's like what happened like he fell off a cliff I was like oh I can't I was like yeah I was like kick him out like he like he had been there like a couple weeks walking in the walk I was like you don't need to be here [Laughter] get out of here yeah yeah how long was that journey I I haven't actually read that but how long was that Journey um it because um I was in spinal I was in the hospital for three months and the spinal unit and I started standing in the frame while I was there and I took I think towards

the very very end I took a couple steps yeah but even like even being able to take a few steps in a walker it's not at all functional um and I know some friends who are in wheelchairs who can actually you know take like a few steps by kind of swinging their hips yeah and they're like it there's almost no like it's not functional at all you can't get up and get a cup of tea or blow the toilet if anything it's more work because you've got to get people to help you get into the Walker to do your walking it's actually easier to stay in a wheelchair yeah so um yeah from the time my accent to when it was actually functional was probably

like a year that it was actually that I could actually do something for myself yeah yeah yeah crazy um and how is it now like that's good is it just seem it's like is this just a new normal or is it actually like it used to be I mean there's obviously a lack of strength in some parts yeah it's it's just like I've had a couple drinks but like every day all day like if I go Supermarket nine o'clock in the morning oh maybe the night before yeah I just like I don't have my balance isn't super great and yeah sometimes it can actually be a little bit a little tiny bit challenging because I can walk people don't think that I'm like disabled and

I don't know if I am in the supermarket and you know when you like run into people at supermarket and you're like oh you get out of the way I just don't get out of the way as fast and then I think people think that I'm like rude that I'm like oh I'm not moving for you it's like no I literally can't but like because I used a walker for uh sorry a walking stick for a really long time um more so that like when I was in the supermarket and stuff people wouldn't like Bang into me because I'm not obviously not in a wheelchair but I I can't yeah yeah I'm not doing any fancy footwork wow that's interesting hey yeah yeah um I

was going to touch back on that like eating disorder part and I don't know I don't really want to dig into it too much but like I find that real interesting because I had like I actually know like now that I think about it I know a lot of horse people and people who were trained to be jockeys and things like that from Australia actually yeah up in Sunny Coast that I knew that now that you say that like they all had Eating Disorders like my ex-partner's sister who was real big into horses like a horse person like you like a little bit weird and a raw dark humor and um but she was the same she was like there's a period of time there

for about a year where um just was doing real witch at like the way she was trying to you know because she was kind of weight and just doing all sort of stuff and like yeah they that was a thing that they had to do like yeah as well the thing that like makes it not not comparing them at all but like having an in sort of but on top of that it's not just you don't want to eat or you can't eat it's also you can't drink like you're so thirsty and um you'd go to the races and you're three kilos down and people oh you must be so hungry not hungry at all I'm I'm thirsty as [ __ ] but I haven't had anything

to drink in 48 hours and you just like crave like just like soda or like sparkling water and you like if I was gonna have a drink like the night before because I'm like so so so dry and I would have to put it in a glass and I put like you know a centimeter in because I couldn't drink from the bottle because if I drink from a bottle I drank half the bottle because you just can't stop yourself because it's just that like instinct that you just need fluid and so it's not even not eating it's actually because when you when you lose three kilos you know 80 of it is water weight so you're getting rid of all that water weight you're super

dehydrated yeah that's why you see when jockeys come back in and they try and interview you and you can hardly talk because your mouth is just like stuck together but you're out there like competing yeah it's like it's hard work and but just the stress that you can't not only eat but you can't drink yeah for like okay I've got to write 54 in two days so the next two days I can't drink anything and that like it's like a panic like stress Panic yeah that's meant I don't know why I did it because like even like you try to compare it to other sports and the only one I can probably compare it to is like bodybuilding yeah because they do the same um

or like UFC yeah but they don't because they can't wait the day before yeah and then they eat the night before and then they car upload they don't actually fight it yeah they put on seven kgs every night they didn't do that at all they do cut that day and it's pretty messed up but they recover fully by the next day yeah and they're so good at it now that well they've got good trainers they cut right down but in a way that they know how how to bring it back in in 24-hour period but like bodybuilders are probably the only one who's close enough yeah that because they have to compete but you would be like a whole day of racing yeah well the

thing is as well like um there's been a lot of bad Falls lately like I've I've actually had quite a few friends die from hidden juice um when you uh that stripped of fluid you don't have your brain you're taking brain from your brain fluid so if you have a bad race for which like you get like that that's that you know you you can die because you don't have enough brain fluid to protect your brain if you have a bad fall which is like so funny yeah so I like I've had a couple friends that's just another thing added into the mix of like yeah I'm making it sound like it's the most awful job in the world but like it was the best

job ever but there was just so many things like I love the racing and the riding the horse it's everything else around it that is so hard to deal with like I had two friends that I was like really close with writing that I was like good luck as they walked out onto the track and then like never came back so that's just like another that's crazy yeah yeah and then but then there's people um you get people on Facebook um if someone rides a bad race and they lost money on them now they can look them up on Facebook and send them a message and tell them to go kill themselves because they lost them five dollars or like and people that don't know

anything about racing and you could have ridden the horse really really well and the horse just had a bad day or with when something went wrong and they literally just message you like you'd get hate messages it probably every meeting you get someone sitting at the pub message you tell you how [ __ ] of a joke you are you should give up you should kill yourself I'm gonna beat you up in the car park like just insane like crazy yeah I keep thinking of I keep thinking of things as it like goes on but there's so many things that just made that job so hard and I just don't think there's enough things in place to protect those people and jockeys do have a really really

high suicide yeah um right yeah so yeah I think there just needs to be more in place to protect them um how what's like you tell me how much you want to talk about this but how much can you talk about like the relationship with like that world in terms of you know because when you race horses because so people can gamble that's essentially what fuels it so like yeah what's the relationship with the that side of the world of it of the horse racing world like The Bookies the tab the Trackside like um we we do like as jockeys you don't really have that much to do with the bidding um like you don't that's like not how you kind of see it like

you drive the best you can because you want like you know your brand you know you're writing as your brand and you want to be known as a good jockey you want to get like lots of winners and stuff and then the punting is obviously what fuels it but you try and stay like separate from that you know like obviously if you ride a horse and it's a dollar ten favorite you're gonna know that it's probably a dollar ten favorite but you're not trying to when because it's the 10 favorite you're just trying to win because you want to win um and that's why it's just hard that that then comes back at you yeah in such a negative way you know so there's obviously

a lot of good punters and like you know and when they win money on you sometimes they'll message you and be like oh good right and like you know on Facebook or like posts and stuff and it's like great that's like awesome it's just like it's yeah yeah but it's like like you're you're a professional yeah exactly that's right because it's the same with like and not that I'm saying it's right it just is what it is but it's like when league and rugby stars like yeah it's like when the Warriors are yeah they get or yeah they're all like the All Blacks because they should like most people think you shouldn't be losing yeah and then when they do yeah or like people say

that girls are so emotional like have you ever seen like guys rugby team who just lost or someone who lost five dollars on a resource like like this business has made me realize how much more of a suck um like and I'd say this to all my clients that this is nothing they haven't seen But like middle age mean and older yeah uh more likely to cry about stuff than any other yeah graphic that we have yeah and like we do these Discovery talks and uh where we Deep dive into them get to know them real well and how many millage men you know have spoken about themselves for four hours straight like that doesn't happen yeah and so they always burst out in tears

yeah um but yeah it's never the woman who do it yeah yeah yeah so I totally agree yeah but like what I was gonna say is the reason I said that I asked about the relationship with the punting side of it is that um I was so we got approached by um Tab and we can keep this in because Joan hit me up um to like how can they uh two heads essentially right yeah but they can't because you can't gambling people can't do ads on social media platforms and stuff like that yeah and but I was saying that like these like telling the stories of like like yeah of the jockeys of the horses yeah the world yeah that's how you do it yeah

you create a Trackside Channel yeah um but it but I what I was I actually said this to um I was saying telling the stories that you're telling like the crazy stories too like the ones that are real [ __ ] up like that's just as important as telling like the real Victory stories yeah well they need to know that when they send that message to someone to go kill themselves because they lost five dollars like the egg goes to a person yeah like that's actually human and it's like it and as much as I know like punters have this like these weird conspiracy theories that like if like if it's a favorite and it doesn't win they're like oh they pulled it up like as in

they like you know lost on purpose literally does not happen it does not happen like we if you if you do that like the stewards have four cameras on on you the whole entire race if you do anything that is going to stop that horse from going any good like they can they can see like it's it just doesn't happen and then you lose your license for a year and then jockeys can't do it like well I mean most chocolates don't have anything else up their belt and they can't work in racing so they're literally just lose their job for a year because what they someone thinks oh yeah someone gave them a couple hundred bucks to pull a horse up literally does not happen

it's you know a horse's favorites just go [ __ ] all the time like favorites usually don't win it's yeah that's why it's gambling though because you actually just never know and you know the horse could pull up soar or you know just had a bad day or like anything or just didn't like the track didn't like you know just so many things so many things yeah but they just think off it didn't went oh it was a jockey's fault like we're trying out absolute [ __ ] best like we when you know if we at nine like to pull up horses we won't get any right no it's gonna we're gonna lose our job like how like um how how much soup do you think there is in

what my dad says where um good jockey there are better jockeys than definitely yeah yeah definitely I actually I I think girl jockey is a almost better than boy jockeys I think because the girls they'll like ask a horse to do something before they tell it I think sometimes boys can be a little bit too aggressive but honestly like 90 of the time it's just it's the horse like I think those jockey can make maybe like five or ten percent yeah you know you just yeah you can't you can't make a horse run faster really yeah yeah sorry sorry Dad I said sorry yes but that's so interesting to no way like yeah especially because like the fact that the jockey's part of it too

like how much how much celebration that they get yeah because you were probably obviously celebrated quite a bit when you're doing all your wins with that but like I know that you still have to have a jockey that's not the thing but like yeah how much um celebration gets at people probably think it's a lot more than a five percent difference yeah and I think people think that we can the better jockeys make the horses run faster but you can't make a horse run faster what you can do is you can make a horse relax in the race so that it saves enough energy so that it can run faster but you can't physically make it run faster than it can but you can set

it up in the race so that it has as much energy left as possible yeah and that's why I think girls are good because girls have like softer hands and having like softer hands on a horse will make a horse relax um and that is sometimes what can you know just be that little bit of a difference in the end but I we really can't make them run any faster than you can but you can put them in a good spot I just heard from the experts yeah yeah you can put them in good spots and you can make them relax so you can set them up well but yeah you can so you can you can sort of um direct it but you can't

push it any further right so so you still have some part to play yeah in knowing tactics yeah yeah exactly and it's it's a it is a lot more tactical yeah than um than you think like yeah you know where they settle on the race you you have to know how fast you're going you and you can only do that by feel so you know you have to feel are we going too quick because then I'll take a Sit are we going too fast like you know I didn't know that oh you just like because it's not like you've got a speedometer right yeah the thing is they're all they're all um [Laughter] so obviously you go faster into 1200 than you would have 1400

1600 but you just you just get to learn the speed and what it feels like and sometimes you think oh we're going too quick and then you'll take a sit and that can be the winning move or yeah you think oh we're going too slow and then you'll see a horse take off around the outside that's because someone's gone oh we're going too slow and then that could be the winning move so yeah you can't actually make them run faster but you can set them up so there probably is a little bit more than five percent in terms yeah do you think it does like you just is that just you being a little bit um like I'm not as confident with your own abilities

Maybe it's tactical in winter so it's really just like Fitness yeah and you know horses like different tracks so the horse that likes the wet track and is the fittest usually one yeah okay interesting yeah okay I'll get some tips yeah go see him at the rocket Mall in Rotorua um awesome so look as we start to wrap up anyway like we went on a whole different tangent today we talk about creative economy which is what we usually talk about um but I was fascinated by that sort of stuff because I fascinated like yeah we haven't had a lot of creators talk about um uh well one who haven't come from some place in the past where the mental health was a thing for them

yeah but you know whether you did the jockey and then where you've got this place now I think like I find it real interesting that I still am real interested that you feel that there isn't a whole bunch of people too love you oh I think they like my horses yeah but I but you know what you know what that's a good day I like this so people do the same here with us like there will be um like people will say stuff about like obviously Joni gets a lot of attention about the other guys in the team and things like that yeah and they you you could think that oh [ __ ] I don't have anything it's all the guys on it's all the team

and before Janie there's other people and whatever um but like most people are smart enough to know well yeah we do love Journey but we only lived only because she's been given a chance by Stan or whatever right and and and so it's not that one one makes the other one but like it's they know it's a team yeah and so it's the same here yeah you know what I mean like no one thinks yeah it was yeah it's kind of like me and me and my two horses yeah it's more like a little team yeah even like yeah I felt like I've done a lot of things by myself um even my mum did like don't really they don't really think it's real like

like you know what I mean what do you mean well they just don't really think it's like a real job or like a real thing it's like oh cute you're on you yeah cute like a game you know yeah like a video game how much can you say about your earnings over a year from this oh not much like but is it but it's something they're right yeah and like I get a lot of like really like horse gear and stuff is like really expensive and I get sent I get sent heaps of like stuff just to like you know wear or like try out and stuff like that which like that's that's cool that's fine yeah because like it isn't nothing right like yeah

it is decent amounts yeah yeah so like if you think about what we paid you which we won't have to tell everyone what that was yeah but if you think about that from like a from one gig because that was probably on the low end of what you get no oh then you're not getting paid enough oh you're definitely not getting paid enough oh we should have started here then you're definitely not is it really not is it about normal or high ER really oh but like I do a part two [ __ ] we have to dig into this right now is it really yeah I would never have thought that at your photo again oh thank you you don't have representation eh yeah I I

do like I do a lot of filming with like cellular house and they have like the the Cambridge store but I'm doing starting to do like all of Sally warehouse now but the camera's still like it's so fun they're like yes there's some like the girls the only reason I can make such cool content out of there is they have such cool products they have such a cool like group of girls that work bare and like film with me and like they're all funny like even the even the boss she's like hilarious like we're all just funny and it's like I'll have like an idea and we'll just be like sitting over dinner and we'll be like bouncy idea and then we'll like get better

and better and better and now we have like just all these really fun cool ideas like I do like all these like giveaways on their page and we do like fun stuff to do like give it it's just like it's fun it's like I love my life now my life is so so much people in in the scenario and like you should keep doing that because I've watched that content and it is hilarious and you should just keep it like that but like other brands like we that's why in the email when I sent you like I was like look this is all we can offer yeah it's so not a lot and I won't say what it was for everyone but like um a

particular company will tell me off for telling you wrong anyway but like it was you get in trouble by a few different people yeah no but like um I reckon that's like on average for a can your size what we paid you was um for what you did to the effort you went into yeah was probably like a half or a third of what you'd usually get yeah yeah there's a guy if you do you know we should introduce it to Tony okay from no said Cowboys have you seen contacted you at all no it sounds like a fun time yes exactly so he's based in Wellington um he's actually a really good dude so he he used to work for another agencies he's gone

outside of Zone one because he realized that the agency world was like not doing right by creators oh yeah and so he's gone down his own money he's a good dude yeah real good dude um oh we should put you in contact to him because he will he will raise this up yeah like you're like like um yeah I probably shouldn't talk about too much stuff but like you you end up making like on something a profile like this you'd be doing five or 10K a month yeah I just like I just I just I just found life and I don't really care that much about money no no no no but you have to make money I know but like it's just I'm just

I'm just so happy that my life is just so fun like my like what I get to do like I just I got this little like van and I like I can live in it and I put my horses in it and I can just go drive anywhere and I can make content I'm like yeah that's my job today it's like you could do that people would 100 with it for you to do that yeah but like what I'm what I'm doing now I just like love like the people I work with and stuff like yeah that's fine like you don't have to like it's not always all about money yeah and you don't seem like you're in a position where like I mean you

have two horses and everyone knows how expensive horses so like you don't seem like you're in a position where like money is like a big thing but like yeah um and I wouldn't say to go to salary and be like give me more money because you obviously have a lot of fun with those guys but like yeah when other brands come and talk to you or if you want more Brands to come and talk to you because you can't just like pump out heaps of brand deals because yeah that looks [ __ ] well I do get like a lot of gems from companies and sometimes they're just like some of them are not even relevant at all and I'm like what would I and I don't

want I want my page to be keep being you know like fun and like dark humor and then like the story lines and the horses and inspirational stuff and it's like I put like a few yeah things in there but I don't want it to be overrun and I see quite a few other accounts that like have started blowing up and people obviously DM them as well and every second video is an ad but like they're trying to work like you know like they're trying to work like skin care and like to like a stable they're like oh when I get back from the stable I love putting on the skin and like it just like doesn't it's like oh they just paid you to

say that right and I would never ever like promote something that I thought was [ __ ] or like if I actually love something I like there's a there's a few things that I promote that um help me because a lot of horse riders have injuries and I have quite a few bits of gear that are made for like specifically to help me ride with the injuries and those are the things that I do promote quite a bit because and then I get so many people like oh like I have this problem too oh my God this would help me and like it actually just helps people and I like doing that and I don't want to promote things that I don't yeah find Value in which

is smart you don't want to do that yeah yeah taking too many brand deals is just as bad like you would make more money but like then what's the point of your page yes yeah exactly you don't want to do that but yeah you could get ones that are really yeah like let's be honest you've got like quite a wealthy Niche yeah because it's not horse Racing's not saying you find people in manadu are doing that yeah you know like where I'm from and like that's different sauces Slim Shady he makes the best billboard I just I use them for my political views a lot I just like I'll write like stuff on them and glue stick and then like I'll go get them to

go roll in the dust and he stands up and it's like I've done like that like he's he's just the best billboard so like I'll just I can't write him but I'll just rent him out to billboard I think we do you need to do it Part Two we're actually talking about Creator economy stuff but I'm definitely going to introduce you to Tony I think you should I think you should have someone who represents you because as someone who's trustworthy yeah and so you don't want something yeah like there are a lot of people who just scam people out of this industry but there are some good people too yeah um thank you thanks for coming on appreciate it cheers thanks for having me awesome